How to Spot Hidden Red Flags in Your Child’s ABA Therapy

Published on
August 31, 2026
How to Spot Hidden Red Flags in Your Child’s ABA Therapy

What we will cover:

  • Introduce two types of red flags in ABA therapists.
  • Break down each category into five things to look for.
  • Explain how to spot red flags in each category.
  • Address what to do if you find red flags in your ABA therapist.

Is ABA bad for your child?

ABA itself is not inherently harmful. The quality of treatment determines whether the therapy is successful or harmful. If your child regresses or you feel uncomfortable with how therapy is being delivered, this does not mean ABA itself is the problem. You may have a bad ABA therapist.

As a mom of an autistic child who’s watched and interacted with dozens of therapists, I’ve learned how to spot red flags in an ABA therapist that are hard to identify. Some red flags are easier to spot. These are the ones I call “clinical red flags”. Others creep up as subtle niggling feelings that you can’t always place. Those, I call “character red flags”.

“Clinical red flags”:

Clinical red flags concern how therapy is delivered. I broke it down to five major red flags that require attention.

1. Compliance over skill:

Bad ABA prioritizes compliance over meaningful skill development, and places demands beyond your child’s current abilities. Good ABA focuses on building skills that help them communicate, stay safe, and become more independent.

​What to look for:

  • Therapist targeting harmless behavior without a clear functional reason (ex: stimming).
  • Therapist using a harsh or intimidating tone with your child.
  • Therapist repeatedly demands a skill without adjusting prompts or support when your child cannot perform it.

2. Punitive or aversive measures:

Bad ABA relies on yelling, unnecessary physical force, threats, or other coercive tactics. (1) Good ABA uses appropriate prompting, reinforcement, and support to help your child learn the skill.

What to look for:

  • Therapist ignoring signs of distress without considering what your child may be communicating.
  • Therapist using unnecessary or excessive physical force.
  • Therapist shouting at your child.
  • Therapist using punishment without a clear clinical rationale, appropriate safeguards, and supervision.

3. Excluding the parents:

Bad ABA excludes parents from treatment decisions or dismisses their feedback. Good ABA involves parents in treatment decisions, goal setting, and progress monitoring.

What to look for:

  • Therapist repeatedly dismissing reasonable questions.
  • Therapist refusing to discuss concerns.
  • Therapist not considering parents' advice or feedback.

4. No individual treatment plan

Bad ABA relies on a one-size-fits-all treatment plan that is not tailored to your child's skill level and preferences. Good ABA considers each child’s strengths, needs, interests, preferences, challenges, and goals. (2)

What to look for:

  • Therapist refusing to adjust the treatment plan when data or feedback show a need for change.
  • Goals do not reflect your child’s needs, strengths, or priorities.

5.  Therapist cannot explain what they are doing or why

A bad ABA therapist struggles to explain what they are doing, why they chose it, and how they will know whether it is working. A good ABA therapist understands the intervention and can explain each step of the process.

What to look for:

  • Therapist repeatedly avoiding reasonable questions.
  • Therapist giving vague answers (ex: “That's just how ABA works”).
  • Therapist unable to explain what they are doing, why they chose it, or how they will measure progress

What are “character red flags”?

“Character red flags” is the term I use for warning signs that reflect on the ABA therapist’s character, rather than on how the therapy is being done.

After interacting with many ABA therapists, I have learned to look for five qualities. In my experience, therapists with these qualities helped my child make progress, while therapists who lacked them were less effective.

Five qualities to look for:

  1. Goodwill
  2. Patience
  3. Trustworthiness
  4. Growthful
  5. Humility

Goodwill:

A good ABA therapist enjoys their job and is pleasant to work with. They’re friendly, engaged, and positive.  

​What goodwill looks like:

  • Shows genuine concern for your child.
  • Looks happy to see your child.
  • Laughs with your child.
  • Smiles at your child.
  • Builds a genuine relationship with your child.
  • Has an upbeat demeanor.

Patience:

Working with autistic children often requires patience. A good ABA therapist remains calm and persistent when a session becomes difficult.

What patience looks like:

  • Remains calm during difficult moments (ex: tantrums).
  • Uses a calm, steady tone of voice.
  • Tries different approaches when something doesn’t work.
  • Uses patient prompting to encourage your child.

Trustworthiness:

A good ABA therapist builds trust through honesty and responsibility.

What trustworthiness looks like:

  • Arrives on time.
  • Communicates schedule changes or delays.
  • Takes care of your child's belongings and space.
  • Behaves professionally and respectfully.
  • Speaks respectfully to your child and family.
  • Follows through on what they say they will do.

Growthful:

A good ABA therapist looks for better ways to support your child. They welcome relevant feedback and new information.

​What growthful looks like:

  • Asks questions about your child.
  • Considers new information and adjusts when appropriate.
  • Tracks your child’s progress and responds when progress stalls.

Humility:

A good ABA therapist takes responsibility and admits mistakes. A therapist who refuses to acknowledge mistakes may struggle to provide effective care for your child.

​What humility looks like:

  • Admits mistakes and oversights.
  • Accepts constructive criticism without becoming defensive (ex: “You're right. Let's try something else”).
  • Offers an alternative without dismissing others’ input (ex: “I think this method may work better”).
  • Admits when they don’t know.

It’s not just a feeling: How to spot red flags in an ABA therapist that are hard to identify

I use what I call the “gut test” to spot “character red flags”. Sometimes you cannot point to one major problem, yet something still feels off. It’s time to ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do I enjoy the therapist's presence?
  • Does my child enjoy their company?
  • Are they pleasant to have around?
  • Are they easy to talk to?
  • Do I feel heard and respected?
  • Does my child feel heard and respected?
  • Do I feel hurt or intimidated?
  • Does my child seem afraid or intimidated around them?
  • Do our conversations turn into power struggles?
  • Do I trust this therapist with my child?
  • Do they feel safe to be with?

If you repeatedly answer several of these questions negatively, pay attention. Don’t dismiss gut feelings that crop up consistently. In my experience, persistent concerns or “gut feelings” often pointed toward red flags.

​

image.png

I see red flags. Now what?

Before taking action, take a minute to think it through. Talk to someone you trust and ask for another perspective, such as your spouse or a close friend. Talk to the therapist about your concerns. Many times “red flags” are small misunderstandings that a direct conversation can resolve.

​As a young mom with little experience working with therapists, I’ve made this mistake before.

​Before assuming the worst:

  • Give them the benefit of the doubt.
  • Communicate your concern to the therapist.
  • Ask for an outside opinion.
  • Ask your child how they feel about the therapist.
  • One difficult session does not tell you much. Do you see the same concerns repeatedly?

If the concerns persist after you raise them, contact your provider and ask about changing therapists. Look for a therapist who listens, treats you and your child with respect, and sincerely cares about helping them progress. 

Shining Steps provides quality therapy through therapists who combine clinical skill with genuine warmth. Have questions or concerns? We’re here to help.

Summary:

 Quality ABA therapy depends on how it’s delivered and who delivers it. Watch for these red flags in how the therapy is delivered: Prioritizing compliance over skills, using punitive methods, excluding parents, relying on one-size-fits-all treatment, and therapists who lack a strong understanding of ABA

‍

A lack of goodwill, patience, trustworthiness, growth, and humility in an ABA therapist signals red flags in who delivers the therapy. The “gut test” can help to spot red flags that are hard to identify. 

Sources:

  1. BACB Ethics Code for Behavior Analysts https://www.bacb.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/Ethics-Code-for-Behavior-Analysts-240830-a.pdf?utm_source=chatgpt.com
  2. Council of Autism Service Providers [CASP] (2024). Applied behavior analysis practice guidelines for the treatment of Autism Spectrum Disorder: Guidance for healthcare funders, regulatory bodies, service providers, and consumers [Clinical practice guidelines]. https://www.casproviders.org/asd-guidelines 

‍